While my outer self participated in the call yesterday I began to observe various Ways of Being filtering through me that no longer suited my own. As I watched them evaporate by choice (as apparitions will do when seen for what they are) I came to the conclusion that I shall now recognize and engage the monster hidden beneath. One which might have been relegated to under the bed or in the closet but had seeped out into how I had chosen to interact with my world becoming (oh no, not one of these) a habit.
I have decided to face this monster regardless of how cute it is and how comfortable I have become with it. Armed with the tactics I would use in a dream I have stopped running a few feet in front of it, turned, faced it and asked it (well, demanded to know) what it was here for and what did it want, and having deduced it’s motivation unsatisfactory, given it an eviction notice.
It had ensconced itself inside My Foundation. I realized that I had placed My Foundation (business organizational acumen) inside a box and then told myself “I LOVE to Work Outside of the Box”. Therefore each time I had stepped inside of The Box in the past I felt stifled and ill at ease, exhausted, amnesic, even fearful, vulnerable to the whims of others.
The big “Ahhh Hahhh!” (or little “duh”) happened as it occurred to me to use my delight in Creativity to build My Foundation. All along I had been looking at it as something to conquer. I have cajoled it, gotten into fisticuffs with it, wrestled it temporarily to the ground. I’ve ignored it, grumped, whined and even yelled at it. I just wanted to shunt off the “non fun” parts to someone else.
I hereby declare a fundamental change in my Way of Being. I desire an emotionally, physically, and energetically ergonomic place from which to create. A Foundation from which to establish My Business of Creation. It is here-to-fore my intention to establish a deep, growing, lasting, satisfying, solid, safe sense of Foundation behind my creations so that I can enjoy every aspect of the Process of Creativity and my sharing it with others. I intend to approach My Foundation with the curiosity, cooperation, delight and satisfaction that I experience while creating in general. I am going to be having fun with My Foundation. Yay me. Details to follow.