(Hum sea shanty while completing.)
“Massive” to me means bold and daring, “Arrr”. Think nice pirates who are cheerful and don’t roast their parrots for accidently leaving a “present” on their shoulders.
Here be me orders to meself to ensure a most excellent impending voyage:
#1 Do not for any reason, no matter how tempting, rearrange the deck chairs (again). They are fine where they are. EVEN IF the wind has blown them about a bit.
#2 If in the mood challenge someone for a friendly duel, sporting like and fairish. (Beware, Michael Neill…)
#3 Pack like the wind. For we set sail next Wednesday and shall be out on the high seas for just under a fortnight, and the rest of the crew is still warmin’ their bunks and swillin’ grog, er smoothies.
#4 Prepare to batten down the hatches.
#5 Write “Welcome to the New World baby” card for neighbors in the next ship over as their new little treasure will have arrived sometime in the night.
#6 Find the dratted ship’s logs that have gone afloat somewhere near the docks. It’s bright leafy green for goodness sake. You’d think we would have spotted it by now. Arrr, humph.
#7 Pre pack the vittles and fresh water for long enough to last the voyage to the first port and beyond.
#8 Make sure the extra still (water filter) is pulled and brought on board from the other ship.
#9 Chart a course for self and crew away from sirens AT ONCE, they are givin’ me a haddock!
#10 Ensure there is plenty of chocolate, er hardtack to last the trip and to share with fellow buccaneers.
#11 Make sure new navigation devices are functioning. If not, take the dinghy back ashore to the big box store and make the guy at the sales kiosk activate the data plans or walk the plank.
#12 At the pointy end of my own sword, decide which of the books to set sail for next.
#13 Swill some more tea, er grog to steady nerves.
#14 Gaze wistfully into the sun coming over the yardarm and then eat some fish (reset leptin) with Best Mate.
#15 Purchase new spyglass and accessories for elderly pirate before she changes her mind about what she wants yet again and the Best Mate pulls out the rest of his hair. Thank goodness he has lots to spare.
#16 Sand and paint pirate’s chest for Cousin’s albino chipmunk (really) to keep his booty in. Have it at the ready to present as gift to honored relations when we arrive at their port near San Diego for a visit later in voyage.
#17 Select best cutlass, most dashing feathered hat and shiniest tall boots for pirate convention on the 4th – 6th.
#18 Make sure to order extra Jolly Roger (magnetic signage) for ship’s hull.
#19 Collect cargo by 17:00 on the Monday next ready for packin’ and chastise the younger pirate for not having chosen her traveling clothes and or having grown out of them at the last minute.
#20 Shave parrot, er salty, really, really hairy dog before the sun falls over the port side of the stern this day as she is too hot even in the frozen waters to the south west of our present location.
Arrr, that should about do it for the now. Hey! Put that peg leg down, it’s not a stick ye happy varmint…
Have fun on the high seas yer fine selves me mateys ~ M