If past experience is to rule out, it is very unlikely that I should wind up where I have set out to, or should I arrive there, that I should be the same person who set out when I left. This conundrum of thought can be upsetting, off putting or downright glorious depending upon my assessment and the conditions I place upon it. In addition, I grasp thoroughly that my perspective is baser as my body instrument is less cared for and conversely my thinking hums along with a higher tune when it is nourished and well kept.
This being stated, I can complete my original goal, but not live well while trying. I will complete my revised goal and flourish as I do. I have already been in simultaneous measure as successful and as unsuccessful as I will ever be in these 82 days and wish to continue to be so in all my days to come, mostly because I cannot cease to change without measure without ceasing to be as I am meant to be.
I recognize in addition that my desire to predict the outcome of my endeavors is perhaps my least desirable trait. For security of surety impacts me in a most insidious way, often negating both grace and joyful well-being. “I am safe” I can tell myself, yet it is only when I am safe from the lower expressions of myself that I am truly safe to venture upon adventure.
So I shall take up my box of oddments and rummage through its contents once again producing an observation which, though likely to hold true for the next few moments may be wildly inaccurate thereafter, the degree to which I have peace in its notion will reflect in the betterment of my opinion of the present future me.
Hugs, ~ Michaele